We're all superheroes pretending to be ordinary people. Don't believe me? Ask a child who they’d like to be when they grow up and they’ll give you a whole host of answers. A fireman, a police, a doctor, a nurse, in the non-PC days - a cowboy or Red Indian, a pilot, an inspirational speaker and business person.

So how come these people are the usual suspects that crop up for children?

Because they're all superheroes saving and helping others. Think about it. What was your earliest memory? Who did you want to be when you grew up? I know I wanted to be like the all-action Bollywood hero, Amitabh Bachchan. He was my superhero. I also liked the Bionic Woman…but that was for another reason!

As kids, we want to emulate our superheroes. Each child will have a different hero they want to be. However, there is one superhero that all children strive to be like – their mum or their dad (sometimes, both). I’m amazed that, given all the challenges I’ve had with my parents, I still see my dad (and my mum) as my superhero.

Now there may be one or two dissenting voices, who say,   

“Rabbani, you’ve flipped your lid. Grow up!”   

My response is:   

“Is it OK with you if I don’t?!! I’m having too much fun being young again to want to grow up.”   

My parent the superhero
Alas, in an effort to earn their daily living, parents very quickly forget that they are superheroes to their children. I’ve asked hundreds of teenagers to list their greatest heroes. Time and time again, the majority have one or both of their parents as one of their superheroes. A child sees their superhero for their amazing talents not their flaws. Who remembers Superman as a bumbling, weak journalist, instead the towering, giant of a man with a cape waving in the wind behind him? The exact same thing applies for how children see their parents.

Don't play small
Given this backdrop, why is it that most adults want to play small? I think the answer is plain to see. We’re hiding behind scripts of our parents, teachers and peer groups, which dictates that we ‘fit’ in with the crowd. We're told to do things in a ‘normal’ way. I remember being scolded at school and at my last two jobs for raising my head above the parapet instead of keeping it down.

Being amazing
There is nothing normal about being an amazing mum or an amazing dad. Playing small is not befitting. Our children deserve better than that. In general, mums seem to ‘get it’. Dads, on the other hand, are still trying to conform to the 'norm’. Guys, wake up! Were you really meant for mediocrity? You’re not normal! Nobody is. Just remember your first superhero and notice how you feel when you sit down and reflect your fondest memory about them. You're just merely reflecting that superhero inside you. Don’t your children deserve the same feelings of invincibility?  

We're all superheroes pretending to be ordinary people. Superman trying hard to fit in by being Clark Kent. Wonder Woman pretending to be Diana Prince. There’s nothing ordinary about being a superhero. Pessimists will have you think, that as a superhero, the weight of the world is on your shoulders. In reality, it’s so much more fun being a superhero…and it's so easy.  

Your child the superhero
Have you noticed the fantastic relationship Barney and Betty Rubble have with their son, Bam Bam? Learn from their example! Not only is Barney Rubble Bam Bam’s dad and superhero; his parents also see him as a superhero. How about you? Can you see the superhero-ness in your child?

So here’s one thing for dads to keep in mind when bringing up your children. YOU are their superhero. When would be the right time now to start acting like one? When will you be ready to have fun again? Now…perhaps?   

© 2008 Harun Rabbani. No content to be reproduced without written approval of the author.

 Harun Rabbani is a Social Philanthroper, Speaker, Author and Presenter.

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